creative visualization....................yeah right

MY FAMILY AND I WERE SITTING DOWN TO A LOVELY MEAL TONIGHT.....CORNED BEEF THAT HAD BEEN COOKING AWAY FOR THE LAST 8 HOURS,WHITE CHEESY SAUCE,CORN CARROTS AND CAULIFLOWER WITH THE CREAMIEST MASHED POTATO I HAVE EVER HAD...100 GRAMS OF BUTTER AND 300ML OF CREAM "OMG" HEAVEN IN A STAINLESS STEEL SAUCEPAN!!!!!!!!!! AS WE ALL SAT DOWN AND ATE OUR DINNER I STARTED VISUALIZING HOW MUCH I WOULD BE EATING IN A MONTH OR SO,WHAT WOULD THE CONSISTENCY BE LIKE,HOW FAST OR HOW LONG SHOULD I BE CHEWING EACH SINGLE BITE,SHOULD I GET A REALLY NICE BREAD AND BUTTER PLATE TO CALL MY VERY OWN AND USE THAT FOR ALL MY MEALS,CONCENTRATE ON NO DRINKING DURING THE MEAL??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????ETCETCETCETC.

NEXT THING...I LOOK DOWN AND I HAVE FINISHED MY WHOLE ENTIRE MEAL, EMBARRASSINGLY EVEN BEFORE MY HUGE 15 YEAR OLD FRONT ROW FORWARD SON........

DINNER WAS SO NICE THAT..OF COURSE I WANTED MORE....BUT I DID HAVE AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE....EVERYTHING I DO HAS A GOOD REASON TO IT !!!!! I THOUGHT WELL I'LL PUT A PORTION ON MY PLATE THAT WILL BE THE CORRECT SIZE FOR A BANDED PERSON....SO ON WENT THE CORNED BEEF,MASHED POTATO...HOLD THE VEGES(ONLY BECAUSE PROTEIN IN SO IMPORTANT)AND TOPPED IT WITH LOADS OF WHITE SAUCE....WELL YOU NEED LOTS OF MOISTURE SO THE FOOD GOES DOWN EASIER AND DOESN'T GET STUCK!!!!!! RIGHT...SO I COME BACK TO THE TABLE WITH MY LITTLE MOUND ON MY PLATE AND I BEGIN TO CHOP AND SHRED INTO LITTLE PIECES...GOING THROUGH MY MIND...WOULD THIS BE THE MUSHY STAGE????TO STINGY FOR THE PUREED STAGE..........NEXT THING I LOOK DOWN AND IT'S GONE....SO MUCH FOR THE SEEING HOW LONG TO CHEW FOR ETC......MY OH MY THIS BANDING THING IS GOING TO BE A REAL EYE OPENER....CAUSE IT CERTAINLY CAN'T BE ANY MORE OF A MOUTH OPENER.........................SEE YA GOTTA GO AND HAVE DESSERT!

LOVE FFBB XX

oooops and double oooppps meant to say goog as in egg i definetaly wasn't good'

just not fat enough..............................

i was just talking to my fellow future bandster and telling her how inappropriate i felt on these lap banding forums....................why you may ask ????well i feel like i'm the piggy in the middle and no one is ever going to throw the ball to me.........................i go to the nov banding forum cause my friend and i in crime are hopefully being banded in nov 09...put in your weight 95kg height 158 bmi 38.5.............so i've bared my soul as well as my big fat gut and no one wants to know me....i just feel like everyones in the 100kg plus club....by the way because i am scoffing down all the things that will never pass my lips after banding.........i am sure my efforts will be rewarded by the nov banders........don't get me wrong ,nothing nasty has ever past the finger tips of these wonderful girls on this forum.....especially my pal katy!!!!!but i feel like i'm in the black hole of bmi...........there are the low bmi'ers 30 to 35 and to tell you the truth looking through these i have found some comparitive weight to my own...so i went and introduced myself ..............we'll see if the 30-35 low banding group will accept me into their gates of heaven...because at the moment i feel like a character in ghost whisperer and i need melinda's help to cross over he he all good though even though i didn't feel comfy about the nov banders....definetely an emotional eater after having a bitch to my dear friend katy i vacummed up a whole big bowl of mushrooms ooooppppssss x 2 that's healthy you say yep don't jump in to fast....with a half a jar of name it vegemite and 4 packets of pizza shapes....pizza shape,a load of the no name vege and then a mushroom...................crap im bad i seriously need to get my shit together....big banding rule.....no food for at least 2 hours prior to bed.....howz that going to work??????i can't sleep properly cause i'm hungry!!!!!another catch 22 to add to my list he he off to bed now cause im full as a good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!bad fattifattibumbum xxx

trying to convince the doctor that i need lap banding

well preparing myself to see the gp i started to write down what i had done thus far to lose weight i started off with my first time at jenny craig.........what the hell was i thinking!!!!!!!!!!!going there when i wAS 64 KGS AND THEM telling me i was 12 kg over weight.....well look at me now jc add 31 kilos onto that......i am a little scarred by the experience.little blue berry single muffins,the pancake mix for one and who could forget the salsbery steak.eeeeewwwwwso below is the things i have tried
jenny craig x4
gloria marshall x1
weight watchers x 8
duramine x 4
reductil x 1
xenical x 2
tony ferguson x 3
atkins x 2
lite and easy x 4
oprah winfrey rosi in the kitchen diet
miami heart institute diet x 5
food combining diet
victor chang heart institute diet
cabbage soup diet
and every diet that womens weekly ,womens day and the new idea has ever published over the last 25 years
you name it im sure ive done it.......but now all the other co morbidity problems have come into the picture ....lets see,we have high blood pressure accompanied by massive nose bleeds,borderline diabetes type 2,depression which thanks to 200 mg of zoloft is well and truly under control,kidney stones,serious joint problems etc etc etc.i thought it quite funny going into the doctors armed with all my weaponry of trying to lose weight...that i sat down(i could see him already eyeing off my hand written literature)that i should blurt out...ive made an appointment to see dr b for g/banding and i'd like a referal thankyou..........no problems he says.............wwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaattttttttttt
i think that's a great idea,i have quite a number of patients already banded with fabulous outcomes......he then says i see your list on all your attempts to lose weight and you've missed out cancer and chemotherapy.........too chey doctor
yes i have to say when i was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 days before christmas 2007 i did think ah well there is a silverlining to this dark cloud called cancer......weightloss in the form of chemotherapy how sad you may be thinking
damn all those anti nausea drugs not a great deal of severe sickness because of these steriod filled tablets........im not an athlete so taking steriods to get bigger was never on the cards anywayz.
i can remember one incident that really really really highlights my obsesive weight problem ............i had a double lumpectomy in january 08 then 5 months of chemo then a double mastectomy and recon in august......i can clearly remember getting home after a 4 day stay in hospital sleeping the night and getting up early to take some pain medication.....out of habit standing on the digital scales,it was winter so still quite dark and these bright green numbers were flashing up at me omg i had lost 3 kg...i jumped off the scales thumped myself on the chest like some old tarzan movie buttt ooooowwwwwwww upon thumping my chest which used to have boobs attatched to them aaaaahhhhhhh
i get it........those 2 mammaries that used to hang to my belly button actually weighed something........damn damn damn so i gave up my throne for miss ethiopia swing high swing lo miss cherio alias saggy boobs for nothing...oh well back to the drawing weighing dieting board once again......so back to the motto of the story...he gave me the referal and shook my hand and said great decision!!!!

well where do i start....................hi my name is ffbb and i am "going"to eventually be a bandit

lap banding...hey yeah i know it's last resort sorta stuff!it's been a journey..........oh yeah what a journey it has been....once upon a time there was a 10 year old child that came from a very multicultural family dutch father and indonesian mother ,big family 9 siblings so as you can imagine food glorious food it is the centre and has always been the centre of our universe.i remember taking these smelly lunches to school......beef rundung sanwiches,chicken satays etc etc i remember saying to my mum at the ripe old age of 10.................i don't want to have the stuff you give me in my lunch box ,i want normal food like all the other kids"i will start making my own lunch"

and there began the spiral down

down

down

i started taking jam and butter sandwiches yum so nice and so normal just like the other kids,but it was 4 slices of bread...not 2...then rubber cheese kraft slices,again not 1 try the whole 12 slices

nobody noticed...having such a big family the fridge was always chocka blocka so like james bond the alias 007 i to had a licence to fill.......ooooppppssss i mean kill...which is where i am now

slowly but surely killing myself with food

travelling on in time i was 13 years old and weighed 13 stone...coincidence hey he he he translated that is 78 kg shame shame shame.......if i had stuck to the asian based diet i would probably still be skinny till this day and not created such bad eating habits for myself

15 years of age saw a major leauge turn around for me.

after refusing to do my chore in the afternoon my mother yelled at me.......your just turning into a big fat lazy cow eeeewwwwwww what a thing for a mother to say..but it was the big kick up my ample butt that i needed to hear,next morning im up at 5am doing the ed allen excercise show then after that i would do the richard symons 2 tins of ardmona peaches one gracing each hand as a 1 kg weight....improvise ladies improvise!!!!!those words still ring in my head...fuzzy haired skinny man aka richard symons...continuing on to a sensible eating pan kavli bicci with vegimite fruit pita pockets filled to the brim with loads of salad....all this being done through the winter months of year 10 where a big heavy private girls school blazer and long skirt covered any evidence of my weight loss.....even to myself!!!!suddenly summer arrives and the disrobing and summer uniform comes back in.....never having any scales to weigh myself on i never really realized how much weight i had lost......24kg was gone and so continued my love of exercise...running 15 km a day 5 km on waking 5 km at lunch time and 5 km after school........squash.,tennis,swimming,aerobics you name it i did it never having to worry what passed my lips i fell into this false existence of staying the same weight year after year because i was happy to do the hard miles........and shock horror i enjoyed it!!!! gotta put the kids to bed the story continues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

26 Sep - Start Blog

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